I’ve been an addict for more than 10 years
And once in a while I still shed a few tears
Seemingly unable to relinquish my fears
You see, I’m killing myself, one hit at a time
Slowly degrading this beautiful mind
Constantly editing my story line
And Its not that I’m addicted to any particular deed
I just enjoy doing things that make me feel like I’m not being me.
Whatever it takes to create that artificial reality
Just chasing that escape
That momentary break
That meaningless mistake
You know,
Just a small taste
Something to help me get, to my special place...
It’s been said that people do things for one of two simple reasons
Either because of the pain, or for how it pleases
Which makes addiction… the worst of diseases
A self inflicted ailment of mind
Constantly looking for “just a good time”
Desperately searching for…
Wait, did someone say something about a line?
Just kidding, I’ve never done coke
That last line, was just a good joke
But seriously, the last decade, up in smoke
Taking my breaths out of a bong
Unable to move past the urge for too long
Stuck on something that feels so god damn wrong
Constantly searching for an old version of me
constantly longing for my soul to be free…
Looking to remember my world before all the pain
Before the permanent scars in my brain
Before everything started to feel the same
Before I started to question whether I’m actually still sane
Or for how much longer I can play the same game
Until it all falls apart
Until I break another heart
Until I lose it all again, before it even starts
After all, these are just thoughts dancing inside of my head…
Just a few words, that you’ve never read…
And…
Fuck it
I’ll just go get high instead.